ROAD RAGE

Hey, I've got terrible road rage. Car accidents are no fucking joke. If you put my fucking life in danger because you're 5 minutes late to your stupid ass job, or cut me off cause you're too busy gossiping with stacy on your iphone to pay attention to the road, I'm going to put your fucking life in danger WITH MY FUCKING FISTS, IDIOT. No, I'm not overreacting. People DIE. In fact, it's the number one cause of death for people my age.

And on top of that, a few days ago some fucking redneck asshole decided to make an illegal lane change, go straight from a right turn only lane, and do this to my car.



Suprisingly, I didn't murder that fucker that night, so I've been thirsty for blood, and extremely agitated behind the wheel.

Today, some fucking little piece of shit decided to almost strike my vehicle again. I was heading down a road, and he tried to pull out in front of me and take a left heading the opposite direction. I slammed on the breaks, he slammed on his, I gave him the "What the fuck?" gesture, and to my suprise, he gave it back to me, and then the gave me the finger.

I don't know what neck of the woods this pussies from, but in my bear infested corner, that means "Hey, we've got a problem here that can only be solved by fighting."

So I pulled over, jumped out of my car and started to run towards his.

Pussy boy peels out, almost hits another vehicle and screeches away in his fucking Civic.

I was gonna let it go, but he rolls his window down, yells something, and gives me the finger again from about 2 blocks away. Real Tough Guy.

That behavior is completely unnacceptable so I took it on myself to teach this pussy a lesson. I noticed that he was pulling out from a Fitness Center's parking lot, so I went in, checked my emotions and became super charming. I described the dude and the car, told the girl at the front desk that he had dropped his cell phone, and I wanted to return it. I told her that I really didn't have much better stuff to do and I'm sure he'd really appreciate it, and convinced her to give me his address.

You should've seen the look on the dudes face when I knocked on the door. At first he tried to act like he didn't recognize me, but as soon as I went to grab him by the throat he tried to slam the door and threatened to call the police.

I broke the door down, and dragged the piece of shit outside. He was actually a pretty decent sized guy, but he had bitchmade written all over him. I gave him the old hockey style beatdown, broke his middle finger to all fuck, kicked him in the mouth with my timbs, pissed on his car, stole the beer out of his fridge and rode off into the sunset like a motherfucker mack daddy.

OBAMA'D.